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“This house is huge! Where did she get it? How much did it cost?” Pierre, my eight-year-old, yelled as he entered the woman’s house.
I had just met these people. Embarrassment flooded me, as I attempted to quiet my child.
It was our second day in the United States. Pierre was in culture shock. We were all in culture shock. Everything was different. For my son, everything was BIG—houses, soft drinks, cars, restaurant food portions, donuts, parking spots.
Everything.
Reverse Culture Shock!
Culture shock. In our case, reverse culture shock.
We are all American citizens. We all hold U.S. passports. Yet, how is it that we feel like fish out of water when we land on American soil?
This time, we were expecting major culture shock. We were actually looking forward to the shock, the change of pace—especially in regards to COVID-19 restrictions and required masks.
When our plane touched down, our family was arriving from Spain, where masks were still required. If you were caught without one, you risked being yelled at by people in the neighborhood, in stores, in restaurants. If caught by the police, you risked even more—a whopping 135 euro fine.
We wore masks in Spain. Everyone wore masks.
In fact, it had been a long time—since March 2021—nearly 1 1/2 years. Sometimes I forgot what my own face looked like, or the faces of my children and work colleagues. I had not even met my children’s teachers face-to-face. I only knew their eye color, their hair shade, and their height . . . mainly through a computer screen.
Needless to say, we were all looking forward to being in a country with less restrictions. Freedom was inviting.
Strange and Controversial
It was a strange feeling and a strange sight to behold when we stepped foot outside of Dulles International Airport in Washington D.C. No one was wearing masks.
“They must all be vaccinated,” we concluded.
It didn’t take long for us to enter into the hot topic of masks and vaccinations. I’ll spare you the details.
We were in shock. We had understood that you were either vaccinated or you wore a mask. Quickly, we realized that was not the case.
That’s all I’ll say on that topic. Well, on second thought, I’ll say a bit more. We are getting vaccinated. If you aren’t, I respect you. I hope you’ll respect me. I sure hope it doesn’t divide us.
My Latest List . . .
The absence of masks (and its resulting controversy) isn’t the only thing that reminds us we are in America. Here’s my latest list . . .
—Red fire hydrants
—Right turn on red
—15-year-olds driving with permits (My son, David, just got his!)
—Few pedestrians and few fences
—People carrying guns! (Scary!)
—Lightning bugs to catch; crickets and locusts chirping; frogs croaking
—Free refills and gigantic soft drink containers at QuikTrip
—Early dinner time (5 p.m. instead of 10 p.m.)
—Few people taking a “siesta” (I miss that!)
—Maple-frosted donuts and Dr. Pepper
—Churches on every street corner
—Air conditioning (I have to keep a sweater in my purse, because I freeze in restaurants, stores, movie theaters . . . ! Pierre calls it the “Dreaded Cold Zone” in the produce section of the grocery store.)
—“We’re hiring” signs everywhere (In Spain, there are no jobs.)
—Closed indoor dining at McDonalds and other places (At least in Pennsylvania—This one was strange to me. I thought it was due to COVID-19 restrictions, but when I inquired, they told me it was due to lack of staff.)
—Previously 24/7 restaurants (Perkins, Denny’s) now closing early
—Big cars, big houses, big parking spaces, big lanes on highways, big everything
—Tips! Tips! Tips! Don’t forget to tip 20%!
—Open and full churches (You don’t have to reserve your seating online; people sit side by side.)
—Aisles and aisles of cereal and other grocery items
—Coloring pages and crayons to entertain kids at restaurants
—Hugging
—Slower driving speeds (25 and 35 zones) — How many km is that an hour?
—American flags waving everywhere
—Garbage disposals
—We drive everywhere — everything is too spread out to walk.
—Drive-thru everything (fast-food, banks, pharmacies, etc.)
—Electric garage doors
—Stores close at 8 or 9 p.m.
—Stores don’t close for the afternoon “siesta”
—Dollar stores
—Baseball games
—Expensive medical care (Spain has socialized medicine.)
—Real dental cleanings (In Europe, you get “dental checks.”)
—Insurance, insurance, insurance
Insurance—You’re Kidding Me!
A few days ago, our boys went to see our favorite pediatrician—the one they see every few years when we are in the U.S. Upon arrival, the receptionist asked me for our insurance card. She made a photocopy and then handed me a clipboard full of paperwork to fill out for the boys.
“Does the doctor know that we’re here?” I asked her.
The boys’ pediatrician was a good friend of ours from church. He had seen all of our children, from the oldest to the youngest, for the past two decades. He had worked us in for the check-up appointments last minute, as a favor, before taking us out to dinner.
I didn’t want him to have to wait.
“We need to take care of your insurance first before taking you back,” she replied. “I have to make some calls to your insurance company.”
“Really?” I thought to myself. “She has our card. Can’t one of the boys already go back to see the doctor? Does she think we are going to walk out of here and not pay?”
I suddenly recalled that every time I called to make an appointment with a doctor in the U.S., the first question they asked me was, “What insurance do you have?” No one ever seemed to ask, “How are you doing? How are you feeling? Are you ok? Is this an emergency?” Nope! They didn’t seem interested in me and my children as human beings, rather only as insurance holders. That’s all they seemed to care about—who will pay the bill.
My husband and I, along with our two youngest boys, waited in the lobby for over forty-five minutes, while the receptionist called to get our insurance’s approval. Apparently, there were some problems, and she couldn’t reach the right people.
Sarcastically I said to the woman behind the counter, “Well, you certainly know you’re back in America when you go to the doctor and you aren’t allowed to be seen until all the insurance paperwork is taken care of.”
Finally, almost one hour later, the nurse called us back. The doctor had been waiting patiently and did not even know that we were there.
Yesterday, I went to the pharmacy to pick up a cream for my face from the dermatologist. “$194,” they said at the pharmacy drive-thru window. My insurance had refused to pay.
I refused to purchase the item. You have to be kidding me! That would only cost a few euros in Spain.
I miss socialized medicine. Oops! That’s a controversial topic too.
You know you’re back in America when . . .
I better stop there. Rather, I’ll stay focused on all the good things.
“Let’s load up the van, kids! It’s time to go out and enjoy the freedom and fun of our country—The United States of America! I’ll start with a maple-frosted long john and a Dr. Pepper, please!”
Let’s Weave Cultures!
Have you ever experienced reverse cultural shock arriving back in your home country? What were some of the things that reminded you that you were “back home,” even if you felt like a fish out of water?
We invite you to tell us your own cultural stories and global adventures . . . as you engage with the world, breaking down barriers, building bridges, and “weaving cultures!” Write about them in the comment box below.
Yes! We just arrived back in the US last week from our life in France and Morocco, and echo so many of your observations. We’re finding as parents-in-progress ourselves it’s critical to model and teach both critical reflection (who are we going to be as a family as we observe different cultures?) and cultural compassion (why is that important to them? why do they live life that way?) to our children as they go in and out of different worlds. Thanks for your post and your books!
Thank you, Dave, for your insightful comment. Yes, “critical reflection” and “cultural compassion” are so essential, as we walk ourselves and our kids through so many changes. I love that term, “cultural compassion,” and would love to hear more of your thoughts on that. That would make an interesting article. It takes us beyond simply lack of judgment and pushes us to try to understand and to be empathetic with people who are different from us. I’m glad you like my books. I just published two new children’s books, “The Boy of Many Colors” and “Mommy, What’s a Safe House? A True Story & Heart Conversation.” I also just released two books for “big people,” 🙂 “Language Learning Laughs” and “Our Journey to El Dorado.” Check them out, available on Amazon. Thanks for reading!