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“BorderLand Bullies.” Have you ever heard of them? I never knew they had a name, but I have met them many times on my life journey.
I learned their name when reading The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson.
After leaving the “Land of Familiar,” Ordinary finally pushed through the Invisible Wall of Fear. He thought that his Big Dream was lying just beyond the wall. That wasn’t the case.
Arriving at the “BorderLand”
On the other side of the Invisible Wall of Fear, he saw the Wide Waters and the Bridge to the Unknown. There was an open stretch of flat ground that separated him from the Bridge. It was called the “BorderLand.”
There, in this mysterious place, he would meet the “BorderLand Bullies”—those people who would try to hinder him from going further towards his Big Dream.
It was surprising to Ordinary to see people he knew. He was especially shocked to see his mother.
“Oh, Ordie!, she cried. “My baby! Thank goodness we got here in time!”
When Ordinary asked his mother why she was there, she responded, “You mustn’t go on! I was so alarmed when I heard you were leaving Familiar! I know you told us that you were, but I never thought you would. Honestly, what are you thinking? It’s not safe! You could get hurt. You could even die!”
“But It’s My Big Dream . . .”
“But it’s my Big Dream, Mother!” said Ordinary. “It’s a wonderful Dream and I want to pursue it.”
I am thankful that my mother was never a “BorderLand Bully.” When I first left for France at the age of 19, she could have tried to stop me from following my Big Dream to travel and see the world. But she didn’t.
At the age of 9, when I caught my dream, my mother caught it with me. She believed in me and encouraged me to reach my potential and to follow hard after my dreams—even if my dreams would take me to the other side of the world from her.
“BorderLand Buddy”
My mother was a “BorderLand Buddy” according to Wilkinson.
She could have held me back out of fear or for selfish reasons. “What if something happened to me? What if I never came back?”
My mother will often joke and say, “I never should have let you go to France that first year. You fell in love and never wanted to come back home to America.” She says that and laughs, but I know deep down inside that my mother wants nothing more for me than to be happy, to thrive, and to fulfill the dreams God has planted in my heart.
Along the way, in certain places where we have traveled and settled, my mother has sincerely and honesty expressed her fears and concerns about our safety, about being so far from her beloved children and grandchildren.
But, as our family continued moving towards our dream into foreign lands, my mother supported us and encouraged us in every way. She blessed us and prayed fervently.
My mother was my “BorderLand Buddy.”
Shaking Up Comfort Zones
Ordinary tried to reassure and comfort his mother. He understood that when he left his Comfort Zone and the “Land of Familiar,” he also shook up his mother’s Comfort Zone. He realized that with each step he took towards his Big Dream, his family members were losing something. They were losing him, in a sense, and that was hard and scary.
Ordinary talked with his mother and his other family members who were there in the BorderLand. He shared more with them about his Big Dream—helping them to understand his heart’s desire. In turn, he also listened to their concerns and learned from them as well. Then, he told them that he had made a decision. He was going to follow his Big Dream into the Unknown.
Ready to Cross
Ordinary took another step forward—ready to cross the Border. Nothing was going to stop him from going, from traveling, from following his Big Dream—not his mother, not any “Borderland Bully.” He was going to “Do It Scared.”
His mother picked up his suitcase and handed it to him. She had tears in her eyes as she prepared to watch her son walk away.
Something shifted in her heart as she saw Ordinary’s determination and passion to pursue his Big Dream and calling to the other side. She made a choice.
“I’ve changed my mind. I want you to pursue your Dream,” she said. “And your Father will be so proud of you.”
Then she hugged him good-bye and watched him walk toward the Bridge to the Unknown over the Wide Waters.
From “Bully” to “Buddy”
Ordinary’s mother changed from a “BorderLand Bully” to a “BorderLand Buddy.”
In my life journey and travels, there have been many “BorderLand Bullies” who have tried to stand in my way and keep me from following my Big Dream. People and voices from my past have tried to hold me back. Inner voices—my own fears and worries about the “what ifs”—have also tried to keep me from moving forward into the Unknown.
With much faith, prayer, courage, and determination, I have pushed through these “BorderLand Bullies” to the other side.
The Fearful Mother
I have even been a “BorderLand Bully” to others in my life—even to my own children. I have been in the shoes of Ordinary’s mother saying to my son, “What are you thinking? It’s not safe! You could get hurt. You could even die!”
Timothee called us last year from his university in Germany. He told us that he wanted to go to Pakistan with his best friend for his sister’s wedding. My first reaction was fear. I pulled out every argument I could think of to convince Timothee to reconsider—to not go.
He shared with us his strong desire to travel to the native land of his best friend—to experience his culture, his language, his home, his family. He shared with us his Big Dream. Our son also listened to our concerns and learned from them.
By the end of the conversation, I said to Timothee and to Vincent, “Why are we surprised? Timothee came out of the womb rearing to go. He was born to travel—growing up in Morocco. He has lived and traveled all over the world with people from different cultures and languages. Of course he wants to go to Pakistan and explore a new foreign land.”
Will I Stand in the Way?
How could I be a “BorderLand Bully”? How could I stand in the way of my son pursuing his Big Dream—even if it took him to distant and faraway lands on the opposite side of the world from me, even if it took him into difficult places that evoked fear and worry in this mother’s heart?
I told Timothee that I was releasing him to follow his Big Dreams in his life.
Like Ordinary’s mother, I handed Timothee his suitcase. With tears in my eyes, I said, “I want you to pursue your Dream. And your Father will be so proud of you.”
Then, I hugged him goodbye and watched him walk towards the Bridge to the Unknown.
—The Cultural Story-Weaver
MY GIFT TO YOU—GET YOUR FREE EBOOK—“THE 5-DAY JOURNEY TO CULTURAL AWARENESS”!
Let’s Weave Cultures!
As you have desired to dream big and to travel, have you ever confronted “BorderLand Bullies”? Who or what were they? Did you listen to them and turn back, or did you push through them to pursue your Big Dream to the Unknown?
Have you ever been a “BorderLand Bully” to others in your life?
What about “BorderLand Buddies”? Have you had them on your path? Have you been a “BorderLand Buddy” to others in your life?
Wilkinson also describes “BorderLand Busters” who help “bust down” and open doors for you to follow your Big Dream. Do you need some of them around to help you move towards your Big Dream?
As a trained life coach with extensive experience, I would love to join you on your “dream” journey. Please contact me for more information about a free coaching session.
We invite you to tell us your own cultural stories and global adventures . . . as you engage with the world, breaking down barriers, building bridges, and “weaving cultures!” Write about them in the comment box below.
