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My first visit to a Syrian home in France was full of cultural learning . . . and cultural mistakes!

Rabia, my new Syrian refugee friend, proudly brought out her coffee (قهوة, in Arabic, pronounced “qahua“) served in fine porcelain — all donated items. She poured the thick, black syrup into the small, demitasse coffee cups.

She was so happy to welcome me into her home, demonstrating her priceless cultural gift of hospitality.

The smell of the coffee was strong, made with cardamom, a spice with a strong, resinous aroma, and a sweet flavor. Cardamom is a key ingredient of Syrian and Turkish coffee.

I wasn’t a coffee drinker. I was a tea drinker, and I especially loved North African mint tea. This Middle Eastern culture was very different and new to me. I had a lot to learn.

As usual, I wanted to respect and honor my hostess and her gift. Coffee in Middle Eastern culture was of utmost importance.

Refusing to accept and drink her fine coffee could have been offensive to her, leading to a barrier in our relationship . . . rather than a bridge. I wanted to integrate and not offend.

No Sugar, No Spoon

Thankfully, the cup of coffee was small. Hopefully, I could get it down.

I took a sip of the hot, bitter beverage and grimaced. Rabia chuckled when I asked her for more sugar. She went on to tell me that one doesn’t typically add sugar after the coffee has been made. Any sugar or milk would need to be added before boiling. The cardamom seed was already naturally sweet.

Turkish coffee cup and saucer

I added the sugar cube and then realized that I needed to stir my coffee. I asked Rabia for a spoon and stirred the dark liquid inside my cup. That really made her giggle as she went on to tell me that one must not stir Syrian coffee. I didn’t really understand why I shouldn’t stir my coffee, but I laughed right along with her.

“Sediment” Coffee

I sipped it slowly, praying all the way! I quickly learned why I shouldn’t have stirred the coffee. It had stirred up everything that was supposed to stay at the bottom of the cup! Every sip left strong bits of coffee grounds in my mouth — not a good taste. I learned quickly that Syrian coffee, like traditional Türk kahvesi (Turkish coffee), is not processed through a filter. Rather, it is a “sediment coffee,” boiled in a tiny coffee pan.


Don’t start to drink immediately after the Turkish coffee has been served. Give the sediment time to settle down in its tiny cup before you take your first sip.

Marc Guillet:  “How to Drink Turkish Coffee”
(enjoy-istambul.com)

When I slowly arrived at the mound of coffee grounds at the bottom of the cup, I quickly realized that I would be wise to not drink those. I laughed at myself again.

Thankfully, according to their tradition, Rabia had served me a glass of cold tap water alongside my coffee. I would soon learn that the glass of water was not meant to wash away the coffee sediment that had accidentally made its way into my mouth. Rather, it was intended to refresh and awaken my taste buds . . . leading to a much more enjoyable coffee-drinking experience. 

A Memorable Visit—Much More Than Coffee

I confess that I drank the water that day to wash those unwelcomed grounds out of my mouth. My first coffee experience with my new Syrian friend had been far from enjoyable for my taste buds.

My first home visit with my new Syrian friend, however, was one of the most enriching cultural experiences in my book of life.

It is also one that we will both always remember, as it sparked a lot of healthy laughter in our budding friendship.

Upon leaving Rabia’s home a few hours later, I noticed a strong “buzz” feeling as I walked to the metro station. As the train began moving and swaying along the tracks, I felt as if I were drunk! That Syrian coffee was extremely strong, especially for this novice coffee drinker.

I have learned throughout the years that it is best for me to politely decline coffee in the homes of my Syrian friends. When I tell them that I don’t drink coffee, they are somewhat surprised. However, when I tell them that I love tea, they smile graciously and then turn on the hot water . . . eager to prepare for me a glass of Syrian tea (شاي in Arabic, pronounced “shay”).

Turkish coffee cardamom seeds
Cardamom Seeds

How to Make Middle Eastern Coffee:        
10 Minutes

Ingredients:

1 cup water 

1 tablespoon finely ground Arabic coffee (cocoa powder consistency)

1/8 ground teaspoon cardamom (1 seed pod)

Optional: sugar and/or milk

(Makes 2 servings)

Directions:

Grind some cardamom seeds with a pestle (a tool with a rounded end), and crush them very finely. Boil water in a cezve or ibrik (traditional Turkish coffee pot), or a regular saucepan,  then, remove from heat. Add finely ground coffee (cocoa powder consistency) and the crushed cardamom (and optional sugar and/or milk). Heat and simmer the coffee until it begins to boil and foam forms on the top. Serve your hot coffee in small, tall glasses. Remember to allow the coffee to rest for a few minutes, before serving, so that the grounds can settle on the bottom of the cup. Serve with a glass of cold water. Above all, DO NOT STIR! Enjoy!

— Recipe adapted from “The Spruce Eats” (www.thespruceeats.com)

Turkish coffee cup set

—The Cultural Story-Weaver

MY GIFT TO YOU—GET YOUR FREE EBOOK—“THE 5-DAY JOURNEY TO CULTURAL AWARENESS”!

Let’s Weave Cultures!


Try this Middle Eastern coffee recipe, even if you can’t find cardamom, or share other variations of coffee recipes from your part of the world. Tell us about your experience.

Have you ever made a cultural mistake when eating or drinking in the home of someone from another country or culture? If so, how did you react? How did the other person react? What did you learn from this “faux-pas?”

We invite you to tell us your own cultural stories and global adventures . . . as you engage with the world, breaking down barriers, building bridges, and “weaving cultures!” Write about them in the comment box below.

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The Cultural Story-Weaver

Along with her French husband, four boys, and dog, Marci is a global nomad who has traveled to more than 30 countries and lived extensively in the United States, France, Morocco, and Spain. She loves to travel, speak foreign languages, experience different cultures, eat ethnic foods, meet people from faraway lands, and of course, tell stories.

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