MY GIFT TO YOU—GET YOUR FREE EBOOK—”THE 5-DAY JOURNEY TO CULTURAL AWARENESS”!
“There are three things that you can never talk about with the French—money, religion, and politics.”
That was the warning given by books and teachers in all my French classes in high school and in the university.
We were told not to ask French people how much money they make, if they believe in God, or which political party they vote for. All of these topics are considered taboo and private. They must be avoided at all costs!
When I first lived in France at the age of 19, I honestly found that this was not just a stereotype about the French. There was actually much truth in it.
Money!
Regarding money . . . although it seemed ok to ask people what they did or where they worked, it wasn’t a topic that was quickly brought up by people meeting for the first time.
In my American culture, it is quite common in first conversations with a stranger to ask, “What do you do for a living?” However, this is not the case with the French!
Religion!
Regarding religion . . . it’s not a topic that comes up often. However, I enjoy having conversations about faith and God, so it is a topic that I rarely avoid. Although the French don’t often talk about religion or faith—or lack thereof—I discovered that my French friends found it interesting and refreshing to talk about God and to explore faith openly. It was often new to them, but intriguing to them at the same time.
Politics!
Regarding politics . . . now that’s a different story! The French love to engage in political debates and discussions. If you turn on television talk shows, politics is often at the forefront of the dialogue.
I can remember, however, being shocked when I discovered that my husband’s parents, my in-laws, voted privately and did not discuss who they voted for . . . not even with each other!
Your political party and vote are often viewed as private, secret, personal.
“You mean you don’t know who your husband voted for?” I asked my mother-in-law.
“I have an idea, but I don’t really know,” she answered. “And, he doesn’t know who I voted for either.”
It’s All About Cultural Awareness!
Does them seem shocking or strange to you?
It did to me, and still does! However, I have to remember that it’s all about cultural awareness. I can’t judge them, even if I find it strange, weird, wrong, etc. I can’t judge them, even if I don’t understand why people in certain cultures do things a certain way.
I have to remember . . .
“It’s not good or bad, not better or worse, it’s just different!”
So, I’ll try not to judge.
Voting—A Private Matter?
Political affiliation is a private matter for my in-laws and for many French people.
I became aware of this phenomenon again recently in my French household during this U.S. Presidential election 2020.
My husband is French. I am American. We both, along with our four boys, have dual nationality—French and American. That means that we can all vote in French elections and for U.S. elections.
First Challenge
During this year’s U.S. Presidential election, we had several challenges.
The first challenge was learning how to cast our votes while living on the other side of the ocean in Spain. We have done it before, when living in France and Morocco, but this year was a bit more challenging with COVID.
Typically, you can take your ballot to the U.S. Embassy in the city where you reside abroad. You can place a U.S. stamp on the envelope, and they will mail in your ballot for you. They ensure that your vote arrives on time at the right destination.
Sounds good. Sounds simple. However, when you are living in a “locked down” country, it’s not so good and simple.
I wrote this in a recent “Let’s Weave Cultures” newsletter . . .
It’s also been a busy week of trying to figure out how to cast our overseas ballots for the upcoming U.S. Presidential election. It’s crazy, because some states are doing online absentee voting, and others are doing mail-in ballots. My driver’s license is from the state of Colorado, so I was able to do everything online. Easy! My husband and our two older sons, on the other hand, have driver’s licenses from Pennsylvania. They have to snail mail those in and hope they arrive on time. I guess they will never know, will they?! 🙂
It was complicated, but we all still managed to vote—either online or snail mail. Hopefully, all four of our votes will actually arrive on time and be counted!
Second Challenge
The second challenge we faced could be summed up in the following question, “Who did you vote for?”
The question doesn’t sound too complicated . . . unless you are a French/American family. In our American culture, we talk quite openly about our political affiliation and who we are voting for. It’s not something that we typically hide—nothing private and secret.
The French, on the other hand, don’t usually announce it.
My husband, Vincent, was the last in our family to cast his ballot. The brown manila envelope sat on the top of the dresser in the entry way, ready to be taken to the local post office and mailed to the U.S.
“So, who did you vote for?” our 22-year-old son, Timothee, asked his father during dinner.
Do you think my husband answered?
He didn’t answer directly. Rather, he responded in a vague, discreet manner leaving open all possible interpretations.
Why didn’t he just answer the question? He’s French—that’s why! We will never know for certain who Vincent voted for in this U.S. Presidential election 2020. We have our strong assumptions, our ideas. However, we will never know, because the French will never tell! 🙂
—THE CULTURAL STORY-WEAVER
MY GIFT TO YOU—GET YOUR FREE EBOOK—”THE 5-DAY JOURNEY TO CULTURAL AWARENESS”!
LET’S WEAVE CULTURES!
What about you? In your culture and in your family, do you announce who you vote for and let people know your strong political affiliation? Or, do you remain silent and keep it a secret?
We invite you to tell us your own cultural stories and global adventures . . . as you engage with the world, breaking down barriers, building bridges, and “weaving cultures”! Write about them in the comment box below.
In the 2004 election, I lost a very dear friend due to political differences. The debate was fun in the beginning, but as the months passed and the fervor grew , there seemed to be an atmosphere of hostility growing within our circle of friends. Like the Hatfields and the McCoys, people I’d known for decades became very partisan. I ducked out, and stopped bringing up conversations of a political nature, although I was goaded and even attacked verbally for doing so. It has never been the same between my friend and me.
Back in the 1960’s, my mother and father never discussed their votes and I assumed that was the way things were done (I was only ten). Since that time, I have learned that to keep a low profile may be the better part of valor. Even if you are not French.
Wow! Thanks for sharing those personal stories. It is so sad when political differences break down our relationships and our country. And yes, perhaps you are right . . . a low profile might be better . . . certainly more peaceful. 🙂