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Today is my birthday. Today, I turn 50!
It’s honestly freaking me out! I was bound and determined to stay on “this side of the hill,” but I’ve decided it’s best to just accept the inevitable. We’re aging everyday, so we might as well age gracefully.
I’m embracing my new reality and choosing to make the next 1/2 of my life (or as many years as God gives me) the BEST EVER!
Any advice is welcome! 🙂
Today, I’m in the car, driving to Calpe, a beautiful Spanish town on the Mediterranean Sea. My husband and my four boys are along for the ride to explore this new area of Spain. I’m sure we’ll have fun going to the beach, visiting quaint, seaside villages, snorkeling, kayaking, hiking, and eating Spanish tapas.
But, it’s never easy being on the other side of the world and celebrating your birthday—far from family and friends.
Especially this one, #50!
Big 5-0!
It seems like I should be throwing a big birthday bash with all of my friends and family from around the world.
I especially wish that my mother, my father, my stepmother, my sister, my brother-in-law, my in-laws, my nieces, my nephews, and my best friends were here.
Birthdays on the other side of the world can be quite lonely—actually VERY lonely.
This one, for some reason, feels especially lonely.
There’s something lonely about celebrating your birthday on the other side of the world.
We are “lonely internationals.” It’s hard. I won’t pretend it’s not.
It Means . . .
—You don’t get tons of “Happy Birthday” wishes. My birthday is in August as well, so the whole world seems to be “on holidays.” Who remembers someone’s birthday when you’re off enjoying your family vacation time?
—Most people you cross paths with during the day have no idea it’s your birthday, and if they did, they probably wouldn’t care. You don’t know them, and they don’t know you.
—You feel really far from the people you love—family and friends who send you texts, emails, ecards, and bubble-wrapped, airmail packages.
—The time difference means that you may not hear from your mother (the one who will never forget your birthday!) until you are about ready to go to bed.
—Your adult children are often not at home—also living on the other side of the globe. They may even forget to wish you “Happy Birthday,” because they live in another world far away.
—You strangely long to be “home,” even if you are incredibly happy with where you are and what you’re doing on the other side of the world. Yes, I admit, this “global nomad” feels homesick from time to time—on days like today.
—Today, I miss my “old life.” Birthday celebrations with family and friends will be added to my list of “All the Things I Will Miss.” I especially miss Dr. Pepper and maple-frosted donuts (my favorite birthday cake!)
—Everything and everyone around you feels extremely “foreign” on this day—it’s the direct reaction to the unfamiliar homesickness that you feel today.
—You realize that you are growing older, and most of your close blood relatives and intimate friends aren’t there to watch and see the changes in you.
Yes, It Feels Lonely
My children have felt this loneliness and distance on their birthdays all of their lives.
It’s the life of a “TCK” (“Third Culture Kid”), a term coined by David Polluck in his book, “Third Culture Kids—Growing Up Among Worlds.”
“A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents’ culture. The TCK frequently builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture may be assimilated into the TCK’s life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background.”
My mother, “Nana” to our four boys, sadly realizes and reminds me regularly how she has missed almost all of her grandsons’ birthday celebrations. She intentionally connects with them through texts and FaceTime on their birthdays, and we often “” Zoom” with her so that she can join us for the time of singing “Happy Birthday” and SEE the kids blow out their candles.
However, it’s not the same as “being there” physically—together. She feels like she misses our major life milestones called “birthdays.”
Today, I’m Okay
Today, I’m okay. I feel loved and remembered, even though I look out over the Mediterranean Sea this morning and I feel the distance between me and those I love on the other side of the world.
My mother had scheduled an e-card for me, delivered to my email box early this morning. She never forgets.
My parents, my in-laws, my sister and her family, my sweet friends in France, my dear friends here in Spain, and others in the U.S. have already wished me “Happy Birthday” through social media. Some even mailed me cards and gifts across the ocean.
Today, we’ll go out for breakfast, hike in the waterfalls, go to the beach, visit a nice seaside town, and eat my favorite Moroccan food for dinner. We’ll even open a chilled bottle of champagne—a French family tradition—and add black currant syrup, “cassis.”
It’s a Beautiful Day
It’s a beautiful day. I have my husband, my four boys, and my beloved world-traveling dog, Samy, nearly 16-years-old, with me.
Yes, I still miss my other family and friends today.
Yet, I am happy. I have breath, life, a heartbeat, and deep inner joy from the love of God.
As my mother always writes in her cards every year, “I wish that I could be with you to celebrate your birthday. I’m there with you celebrating in my spirit.” I know that she is, along with all of my family and friends on the other side of the world.
It’s a great day. It’s my birthday! I’m turning 50!
Today, as I celebrate my birthday on the other side of the world, I’ll just go ahead and sing “Happy Birthday” to myself—in Spanish, of course!
—The Cultural Story-Weaver
MY GIFT TO YOU—GET YOUR FREE EBOOK, “THE 5-DAY JOURNEY TOCULTURAL AWARENESS”!
Let’s Weave Cultures!
Have you ever celebrated your birthday on the other side of the world—far from friends and family? What was it like for you? How did you make it special? If you know someone on the other side of the world, how can you reach out to them on their birthday so that it’s not such a lonely celebration?
We invite you to tell us your own cultural stories and global adventures . . . as you engage with the world, breaking down barriers, building bridges, and “weaving cultures”! Write about them in the comment box below.
Happy Birthday Beautiful! It’s good to acknowledge those very real feelings when they come. The hard part is that if you were celebrating in the US with your extended family, you’d be missing those dear ones in Spain and the beautiful places and traditions you’ve developed there. So in some ways, we’re lonely no matter where we are.
And we choose joy in the midst of it. We do have those with us who love us and others who “get it”
As far as aging and being 50 and beyond, all I can say is CELEBRATE! Just having turned 56 this year, I always say, that I’ve earned every year of my life and I love it. I’m not hiding or pretending, I’m embracing and celebrating 🙂
I’ll raise a glass to you this evening. There’s a lot to celebrate in who you are and the life you live even when sometimes it’s lonely
Thank you, sweet Janet! It is so great to hear from you, and I can’t believe you are ahead of me! Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. Love and miss you lots!