MY GIFT TO YOU—GET YOUR FREE EBOOK—“THE 5-DAY JOURNEY TO CULTURAL AWARENESS”!
“Oh, There’s No Place Like ‘Home’ For the Holidays” belted loudly from the Dunkin’ Donuts’ speakers. We sat with our two youngest boys, having a special treat after their school’s big Christmas musical.
I caught myself singing the lyrics out loud and swaying to the music, much to my children’s embarrassment.
The song made me think about our own life and “home” and what this means for our cross-cultural family . . . especially during the holidays. I suddenly remembered all of our years living abroad—away from “home,” stuck on the other side of the world for Christmas. We were “lonely internationals.”
Hearing those song lyrics evokes an array of emotions for “internationals”—for those of us who have a hard time answering the questions, “Where are you from? Where is ‘home’ for you?”
Different Stories
Last year, I was speaking with an acquaintance from rural Pennsylvania. I asked him if he was traveling over the holidays or “staying put.” My question sounded almost foreign to him.
“Traveling?” He went on to explain that all of his family lived within a 15-minute radius. They were already “home for the holidays.”
In response, I said, “Wow, our story is quite different from yours!”
I thought that perhaps my remark would cause him to question what our world and what our journey was like. Would he ask me to tell my story about my family—my family separated from each other, spread out across the world—and what that meant for us at Christmas?
He didn’t ask. Rather, he responded, “Well, have a Merry Christmas!”
That passing conversation contrasted greatly from my conversations with my “global” friends that same evening at our International Christmas dinner.
So Far From “Home”—Christmas Overseas
“I just can’t seem to get into the ‘Christmas spirit’ here, without my family close by and without my country’s traditions,” a friend from Norway said.
“We leave for Guatemala next week for both Christmas and New Year’s. I haven’t spent the holidays with my family in over ten years. I’m always on the other side of the world. I have seen my family in the last decade, but never during the holidays,” replied a friend from Guatemala.
“Today, if we were back home, our family would be celebrating “Las Posadas” (the nine days of religious observance before Christmas) that is so important in our country’s traditions. All of our family would be together tonight eating and dancing,” a friend from Colombia said, with sadness and longing in her voice.
“For Christmas this year, we will be alone—just my husband and I, and one of our children. It will be quiet,” said a friend from Venezuela.
“I can’t afford a plane ticket to get home for Christmas break,” said several international students from our sons’ universities in the UK and in Germany.
They had no choice but to stay alone in their dorm rooms while their friends returned to their home countries to spend the holidays with their families.
I could understand their stories of loneliness, separated from family and friends during the holidays. We all understood each other, living in the same world. All of us felt “displaced” and isolated—especially during the holidays.
Remembering . . . An Overseas Christmas
I can still remember all of our years in Morocco—those feelings of sadness and isolation on Christmas morning—knowing that our friends and family were celebrating on the opposite side of the Atlantic Ocean—without us.
There was no cold and no snow on the North African beaches . . . no Christmas trees and sparkling lights (other than our own). We couldn’t find a whole roasted turkey to adorn the dining room table. Chicken filets would have to do! Worst of all, we couldn’t make Grandma Esther’s infamous creamed corn casserole without a box of Jiffy cornbread mix from America. It just didn’t feel like Christmas!
Calling family that day to express our holiday wishes and blessings didn’t even begin to fill the deep void in our hearts.
Hearing their distant voices and seeing their blurred faces through a screen just wasn’t the same. It just wasn’t the same as being “home” for the holidays.
Expat Family—Christmas Overseas
Our expat community would often gather together to celebrate, attempting to be “family” for each other—when our own families were so far away. It was comforting, but it was also another reminder that our blood relatives were still on the other side of the globe.
Seeing locals with their friends and families, especially during the holidays, seemed to drive the pain of our reality even deeper. Our longing for “home” was very present—very real—on those faraway Christmas mornings.
As internationals, this foreign land is our “home away from home.” We have to find the true spirit of Christmas in our hearts—with its fullness of joy, peace, and love—even if we can’t go “home for the holidays.”
That man from rural Pennsylvania with whom I spoke that morning didn’t understand me. He couldn’t understand me. We lived in two very different worlds.
This year, in Spain, I am once again a “lonely international.” I am not able to go to my “home country” for the holidays, but I am learning to be at “home” and content as I celebrate Christmas in this foreign land.
—The Cultural Story-Weaver
MY GIFT TO YOU—GET YOUR FREE EBOOK—“THE 5-DAY JOURNEY TO CULTURAL AWARENESS”!
Let’s Weave Cultures!
Have you ever spent Christmas and the holidays away from family and friends? How did you feel during this season? Were you able to find the true spirit of Christmas? How and where did you find it?
What can you do to invite and welcome “internationals” into your home during this Christmas season? How can you become a “family” and “home away from home” for them during this potentially lonely holiday season as they are separated from their family and friends?
We invite you to tell us your own cultural stories and global adventures . . . as you engage with the world, breaking down barriers, building bridges, and “weaving cultures!” Write about them in the comment box below.
