My Gift to You—Get Your Free Ebook—”The 5-Day Journey to Cultural Awareness”!
“Mommy, look what I made at school!” my 8-year-old son said to me with delight, as he got into the car.
I couldn’t wait to see. My son is creative and artistic, always bringing home fun, bright-colored artwork for me to admire and hang on the fridge.
He pulled the laminated paper out of his backpack and shoved it into my face while I was driving.
Thankfully, we were on a village road with little traffic.
“Wow!” I said, as the vibrant colors popped off the page.
Then, I saw his handwritten words, and confusion and concern filled my mama’s heart.
“I was born in the USA.”
It was the third sentence wrapped around his self-portrait in the middle of the page.
“Honey, you weren’t born in the USA,” I said to him gently, unable to hold back my thoughts.
“I wasn’t?” he said, with surprise. “Oh, that’s right, I was born in France.”
He laughed. I chuckled too. However, deep down inside, I was worried . . . worried about my son’s identity, worried about my son’s confusion.
The TCK Dilemma
It’s a common dilemma for Third Culture Kids (TCKs).
David C. Pollock and Ruth Van Reken in their book, The Third Culture Kid Experience: Growing Up Among Worlds, define a TCK in these words.
“A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents’ culture. The TCK builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture are assimilated into the TCK’s life experience, a sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background.”
” . . . Relationships to all of the cultures, while not having ownership in any . . . ”
TCKs just don’t know . . . sometimes, they don’t know who they are, they don’t know where they’re from, they don’t know where they prefer to live, they don’t know where “home” is.
They don’t know where they belong.
The question my four boys (and all the TCKs in the world just like them) dread the most is . . .
“Where are you from?”
They simply don’t know.
They might know what passports they hold. They might know where their parents are from. They might know their family and cultural origins. They might know where they are living at the time—even if out of suitcases. They might know what languages they speak, what ethnic foods they love to eat, and where their best friends live on the globe . . .
They might know where they were born.
Or, like my 8-year-old son, they might not.
It’s confusing. It’s confusing for our kids. It’s confusing for us.
My son is clearly confused.
He knows that he has three brothers. One was born in New York. One was born in Paris. One was born in Milwaukee. One was born in Toulouse.
The last one, born in Toulouse, France is him. But, perhaps he has lost track.
I know, as a mother, that I have at times lost track!
His Forgotten Story
My 8-year-old son has heard so many stories, that sometimes, he forgets which stories are his and which ones aren’t.
Our son has heard many stories and tales about Africa — Burkina Faso, Tunisia, Mali, Senegal, Ivory Coast, Morocco. They are all family tales, family stories, and he is convinced that they are his own.
Of our four boys, however, he is the only one who has NOT LIVED in Africa, specifically Morocco. Morocco is an important chapter in our family’s narrative. In his little heart and mind, our youngest son is absolutely certain and convinced that he has lived there. However, he has NEVER LIVED in Morocco, and his older brothers regularly remind him. He has visited twice, but it has never been his “home.” It’s hard for him, because it was “home” for the rest of us—all five of us—for seven years.
In a sense, he longs to be a part of that chapter of our family’s life story.
The Blended Chameleon
Our two youngest boys are now attending an American school in Spain. I pictured my son sitting next to his classmates as they wrote out their life stories and drew their self portraits. Many of them would have written, “I was born in the USA.”
A typical TCK, perhaps in an effort to integrate and blend in with the other kids—like a chameleon—my son wrote the same words.
“I was born in the USA.”
In a sense, he forgot, forgot where he was born, forgot where he came from.
I needed to remind him, remind him of his roots, remind him of his origins, remind him of his birthplace, remind him where he came from.
This is the story, the life story of a TCK.
Confusing, but interesting. Crazy, but fun. Distorted, but unique. Messy, but colorful.
This is the story, the life story of my four sons.
They are boys . . . “Boys of Many Colors.”
In an effort to share their stories, their at-times-confusing journeys with the rest of the world, I wrote a new book called, The Boy of Many Colors. It’s another story in the series of “Pierre’s World Traveling Adventures,” along with The Boy Who Weaves the World. These stories share the awesome and unique stories of my boys and other TCKs around the globe.
I hope this story gives you a closer glimpse at their lives and increases your own cultural awareness, understanding, and appreciation.
Here’s the link if you want to check out my new book and support our TCKs! 🙂
—The Cultural Story-Weaver
My Gift to You—Get Your Free Ebook—”The 5-Day Journey to Cultural Awareness”!
Let’s Weave Cultures!
Are you a blend of several cultures, or have you picked up other cultures (and colors!) in your travels and living abroad? Do you ever get confused about who you are or where you’re from?
We invite you to tell us your own cultural stories and global adventures . . . as you engage with the world, breaking down barriers, building bridges, and “weaving cultures”! Write about them in the comment box below.
