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Cultural eating norms look different all over the world.
Recently, my mother and my 12-year-old son were sitting side-by-side at the kitchen table having dinner. They were both eating the same thing, pizza, but the WAY they were eating was worlds apart!
My mother ate the “American” way . . . with her hands. On the other hand, my son had his fork in the left hand and his knife in the right hand, cutting each small bite of pizza and enjoying. Now, who appears to be the mature adult in this scene? Who seems to have more proper manners?
Well, it all depends on your cultural perspective . . . depends on where you are from and how you were raised. It’s not better or worse . . . it’s just different!
“When in Rome, Do as the Romans Do!”
I can still remember my first year in France as a foreign exchange student. Vincent took me to a pizzeria. It wasn’t Pizza Hut! It was a real, Italian pizzeria. When he asked me what kind of pizza I wanted, I assumed that we would be sharing one. Rather, in these traditional pizzerias, everyone orders their own pizza that is served on a large, individual plate.
I made my selection and waited for my Italian pie to arrive, ready to dive in . . . WITH MY HANDS! Thankfully, I quickly noticed that Vincent picked up his fork and knife. I observed and followed suit, trying to learn. “When in Rome, do as the Romans do!” “Who eats pizza with a fork and knife?” I thought to myself. The French obviously do!
What Are “Finger Foods?”
And who eats French fries with a fork and knife? I mean who has ever heard of such a thing? Well, I am here to testify that there are many people in the world who eat all kinds of “finger foods” with eating utensils. I can still recall the first time that I went to a nice French restaurant (not McDonald’s!) and saw someone eating French fries with a fork and a knife. It was my soon-to-be husband!
I confess that I have not converted to regularly pulling out my fine silver to indulge in my cheesy piece of pizza or my fried potato wedges. When I try it, however, it certainly slows down my eating pace and keeps my hands from getting greasy! Maybe that’s why most of the French are so thin!
On the flip side, there are many cultures in which one uses his or her hands to eat an otherwise “fork and knife” type meal. But honestly, who determines what is a “hand eating” meal and what is a “fork and knife” meal?
It all depends on your cultural perspective . . . depends on where you are from and how you were raised. It’s not better or worse . . . it’s just different!
The Community Platter
Living in Morocco for seven years, we quickly learned how to eat with our hands in the community platter. It was a beautiful experience as we would all await the main dish to arrive in the center of the low round coffee table.
As soon as the honored chef proudly placed the centerpiece dish on the table, each of us would dive into the bowl with our “clean,” right hand. My friends have explained to me that the left hand is considered “unclean” for Muslims because it is used for personal bathroom washing.
For dishes like couscous, each one would make his very own triangular-shaped area as he dug into the tiny, round, white grains. Walls of couscous would become natural separation barriers between each one’s individual eating space in the platter. The cultural norm was to not “cross over” into someone else’s territory.
Amazingly, our Moroccan friends could magically roll their couscous grains into little “balls” that they would somehow then “pop” into their mouths. It truly was an art, and we simply could not master it! After multiple attempts and much determination to make “couscous balls,” our local hosts would chuckle at the scene and then graciously hand us large soup spoons to carry on. I always ended up with more couscous on my chin, in my lap, and down the neck of my shirt . . . than in my mouth and in my stomach!
It was important to laugh at ourselves, right along with the amused observers.
Our Moroccan friends always prefer to eat with their hands, even though the food is very hot to the touch! Perhaps they do this because of a belief in an old wive’s tale: “The spoon is like the stepmother.”
“In Morocco, sometimes a man has several wives, and his children have to live under the same roof with multiple stepmothers. This isn’t easy, because you just don’t know what to expect from your stepmother. It’s like the spoon. When you eat with your fingers, you know if the food is hot. You won’t burn your mouth. With a spoon, you don’t know if the food is hot until it touches your mouth. Then, it’s too late. You are burned!”
Others would tell us that the food actually tastes better when you eat it with your hands. Hmmm . . . wonder why? 🙂
For other Moroccan delicacies like tagine, we would use small torn-off pieces of traditional, round, homemade bread called rhobes as our utensils, scooping up the stewed meat and vegetables and escorting them into our mouths. Our Moroccan friends always made sure to give us plenty of meat and good veggies on our side of the platter.
Not only was eating together out of the same dish a beautiful, shared community experience . . . it also made for easier clean-up . . . no dishes and no silverware to wash!
—The Cultural Story-Weaver
Let’s Weave Cultures!
Why don’t you try something new today? If you’re eating a common “finger food” like pizza or French fries . . . try eating it with your fork and knife! Or, if it’s a common “fork and knife” meal for you, like chicken and rice . . . try to scoop it up with your hands and into your mouth. It’s messy, but it’s fun! You may decide that you like the new eating experience . . . and the lighter clean-up!
We invite you to tell us your own cultural stories and global adventures . . . as you engage with the world, breaking down barriers, building bridges, and “weaving cultures!” Write about them in the comment box below.
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