Shortly after arriving in Morocco, we were thrilled to be invited to our neighbors’ home for tea one Sunday afternoon. We had been hoping that we would have opportunities like this to meet local people, taste authentic food, and experience the Moroccan culture up close and personal.
Gladly accepting the invitation, I prepared a traditional French cake to take with us—not wanting to arrive at their home “empty handed.”
Welcomed In!
Our sweet neighbors welcomed us inside their house for sweet Moroccan mint tea and yummy pastries covered in sticky honey. Pure delight!
After having tea, I excused myself to go to the restroom. On my way there, I noticed a beautiful teal green rug. It was gorgeous!
In an awkward blend of French, Arabic, and English, I spurted out, “Your rug is absolutely beautiful!”
Upon exiting the restroom, I noticed the rug again. Overwhelmed by its vivid colors, I couldn’t help but say something.
My Favorite Color!
“That teal green is gorgeous! That’s my favorite color!”
The hostess nodded her head in agreement and delight.
I went on and on about that rug that I loved. We had very few house furnishings at that time. A rug like that would look beautiful in our house.
I Want One!
“Where did you find that beautiful rug? I would love to have one for our new house.” I said to my neighbor.
She explained to me that they had just returned from a pilgrimage to Mecca. They had purchased the rug during their trip as a memory of this very important step in their spiritual journey.
“Wow!” I said.
A few hours later, not wanting to overstay our welcome, we headed towards the door. Our boys were getting very impatient with the visit, even though they had enjoyed drinking an entire teapot full of sweet Moroccan mint tea and devouring pastries of all shapes and sizes.
My neighbor reached out her hands to me. She was holding a bag.
I looked into the bag and couldn’t believe my eyes! The beautiful teal green rug from Saudia Arabia was carefully folded up.
Embarrassed!
Shame and embarrassment flooded my heart and mind. I felt the rush of heat as my face turned beat red. With my eyes about ready to pop out of their sockets, I apologized over and over to my neighbor.
“Oh no, I am so sorry. I cannot take your rug. It’s beautiful, but it is your rug.”
“You must take my rug,” she said. “You love my rug, and it’s your favorite color. It will be beautiful in your new house. If you don’t take it, I will be very offended. You must accept my gift.”
I didn’t know what to do. Would I offend her more if I took the rug or if I refused it?
We stood uncomfortably at the door for what seemed like an eternity. She insisted several more times that I take her gift. I finally accepted and thanked her. All I wanted to do was run home and hide!
Speechless
“This means so much to me,” I said. “I don’t know what to say.”
I walked home in silence—speechless.
When I got home, I opened the unexpected gift. I took the beautiful teal green rug from Saudia Arabia out of the bag. I laid it on the floor and admired it. It did look beautiful!
I learned that day to be very careful in how I complimented my Moroccan neighbors and friends.
Recently, I was reading a book called “Do’s and Taboos Around the World.” For Morocco, it says, “You may wish to avoid lavishly complimenting your host on a possession, as he may feel socially obligated to give it to you.”
Yep! That’s right! I will never do that again . . . unless I’m really desperate to furnish my house!
—The Cultural Story-Weaver
Let’s Weave Cultures!
Have you ever made a cultural mistake that led to much shame and embarrassment? How did you handle it when you realized what you had done or said? Were the local hosts understanding of your cultural mistake and blooper or were they offended?
What other “Dos and Taboos Around the World” have you learned?
Do you know of other cultures, like Morocco, where a host would feel socially obligated to give you something if you complimented on it?
We invite you to tell us your own cultural stories and global adventures . . . as you engage with the world, breaking down barriers, building bridges, and “weaving cultures!” Write about them in the comment box below.
