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The dinner bell rang loudly, echoing throughout the stone courtyard nestled in the middle of the monastery. It was time to eat.
“You need to be seated at 9:00 sharp or the man gets upset,” my friend told me.
She had stayed in this monastery before. She knew the “cultural rules.”
It was 9:00 p.m., and we were not seated at the dining room table. Rather, our family was comfortably seated on the cozy cushions of the wicker furniture adorning the courtyard.
We all jumped up and ran into the dining room, quickly grabbing our seats before the clock’s ticking arm could reach 9:01.
This place was obviously time-oriented.
Was it Spanish culture or was it the culture of this specific community?
I wasn’t sure.
This question made me think of the cultures around the world—some time-oriented and some people-oriented.
Going Back to My Cultural Roots
I come from a highly time-oriented culture . . . American! I was reminded of this during our time back in the U.S. this last year. Everything starts on time, and people arrive EARLY to events.
This was a huge shock to me. We invited some new friends over for coffee at 10 a.m. At 9:50, the doorbell rang.
“What? You’ve got to be kidding?” I said to myself. “I haven’t finished picking up the house! Ugh! I’m still in my pajamas, and my teeth aren’t even brushed!”
Early. Prompt.
I was back in a time-oriented culture.
“The United States’ society considers time very important. Coming late to a meeting or activity is seen negatively because tardiness messes up other people’s schedules. People in the United States are very timely and schedule-oriented, their lives revolve around time and checking the clock.”
Dornt Diamond
From my perspective, these women who showed up early on my doorstep were messing up my schedule! I wasn’t ready to open my door and welcome them into my messy house—in my pajamas!
Our family quickly got sucked into the time-oriented, American culture. We had no choice but to adapt, to change.
Soccer games start on time. School starts on time. Church starts on time. Meetings start on time. Everything starts on time.
It’s a time-oriented culture.
Get on a Culture Time Schedule
I quickly went to Walmart to buy a big family calendar for our kitchen wall. I thought that I better get my act together, or we were going to be fighting culture all year long.
Not only does everything in the U.S. start on time, but everything is planned! You don’t just drop by a friend’s house to see if she’s around for a cup of tea. One has to plan these connections. They have to be scheduled. If you don’t have an appointment on the calendar—your very full calendar—there will be no cup of tea.
My mother bought me a planner for Christmas last year—my favorite—the Living Well Planner. I’ve been using it for two years now (about to be three!), and it has changed my life. Its pages and motivational sayings keep me encouraged, organized, and “on task.” I quickly became time-oriented and even learned to “color time block.” I had to, even though it wasn’t my natural bent and personality.
People-Oriented Vs. Time-Oriented
I am, by nature, a people-oriented person. I’m always late, because I’m always talking to people. I’m social. I care more about the person in front of me than the clock on the wall. The watch on my wrist is usually out of battery, and my phone usually needs to be charged—much to my husband’s dismay. I can’t rely on those devices to keep me on track with time, and frankly I don’t want them to.
I like being people-oriented, and I love living in people-oriented cultures.
“On the time perception spectrum, there are those who are time-oriented on one end, and those who are time-relaxed on the other end. Whether people are time-oriented or time-relaxed depends heavily on their culture and how they were raised.”
Dordt Diamond
At Dordt University in Sioux Center, Iowa, they have observed these differences.
“Among some American and international students, the phrases ‘American Time’ and ‘International Time’ play important roles when defining the importance of punctuality and time management. Sometimes, some international students arrive to meetings or events a little late. Such things do not necessarily mean that they do not care, but it merely shows that they have a different perception of time.”
Dordt Diamond
When you come from a time-relaxed culture, it can be challenging to adjust to a time-oriented culture. For some international students arriving in the U.S. to study, punctuality can be one of the most difficult aspects of acculturation.
Culture Time in Morocco
My personal preference is to live on the side of the spectrum that is “time-relaxed”!
Morocco is my favorite land in the world, and I loved living in that people-oriented, time-relaxed culture.
Yes, sometimes having invited guests arrive two hours late was a bit annoying. However, overall, I loved that there was no pressure to always be right on time.
People enjoy life in Morocco. You can stop by a friend or neighbor’s house anytime unannounced. It’s not necessary to call ahead of time, and you don’t have to make an appointment. The door is always open, and you are always welcome.
Moroccans enjoy sitting around the metal tea pot, savoring and sipping glass after glass of sweet mint tea.
There is no rush. No one pushes you out the door, because they have the “next thing” already calling them on their agenda. There isn’t really an agenda.
There was no cultural obligation to be on time to anything—other than perhaps some professional meetings. In fact, if you arrived “on time” for a dinner invitation, you might end up walking to the market with your local host to buy the meat and hanging out in the kitchen cutting up vegetables for the meal. It just won’t be ready “on time.” They give a “time,” but they don’t watch their clocks. Usually, they don’t wear watches.
When my dinner guests were late to our home for dinner, I realized that it wasn’t disrespect. It was culture. I learned quickly to tell my guests to come at 12 p.m. if I planned to have a 2 p.m. couscous meal.
People-oriented, not time-oriented.
Culture Time in France
In France, life was much more time-oriented. It varied by region, but our years in the south of France revealed a nice balance.
In Toulouse, for example, they have an expression, “le quart d’heure Toulousain.” This means that you are allowed to be 15 minutes late to an appointment, and it’s still culturally acceptable. If you arrive 16 minutes late, however, you are banned and blacklisted!
Although school and other events started on time, it was nice to have that 15-minute margin for doctor’s appointments, dinner invitations, etc.
Culture Time in Spain
Here I am living in Spain now and adjusting again to cultural time.
The Spanish culture is definitely time-relaxed, even though we stayed in a beautiful monastery in Toledo that clearly had a time-oriented sub-culture in their community.
Although schools, churches, and professional meetings typically start on time, life in general is relaxed. You can see it and feel it when you observe people lingering in tapas bars, drinking beer or sipping cafe con leche, and taking afternoon siestas. They enjoy spending time together as friends and families, and they aren’t stressed about time.
I love Spain. We don’t have to watch the clock. If we are a little late, we won’t offend anyone.
It feels a bit like Morocco. In my research, I ran across an article on Business Insider that confirmed what I’m feeling.
“Spaniards, Italians, and Arabs will ignore the passing of time if it means that conversations will be left unfinished. For them, completing a human transaction is the best way they can invest their time.”
Business Insider
Even though I’m living in a time-relaxed culture, I still have a family calendar of events hanging on my kitchen wall and my Living Well Planner sitting on my desk. I’m not time-oriented by nature, so I need some extra help—no matter where I’m living in the world!
—The Cultural Story-Weaver
ENJOY READING THIS POEM, “WHAT IS THE MEANING OF TIME IN YOUR CULTURE?” and What Cultural Time Are You On?
MY GIFT TO YOU—GET YOUR FREE EBOOK—“THE 5-DAY JOURNEY TO CULTURAL AWARENESS”!
Let’s Weave Cultures!
What about you? Do you come from a time-stressed or time-relaxed culture? What is your preference?
We invite you to tell us your own cultural stories and global adventures . . . as you engage with the world, breaking down barriers, building bridges, and “weaving cultures!” Write about them in the comment box below.
If you live in a culture that plans and schedules, this planner is for you! This is my third year to purchase the Living Well Planner. It has changed my life and helped me to turn my dreams into goal crushing!
